Un-comfort Zones

Wow, what a week. For the past 6 months I've been dealing with the breakdown of my marriage, and separation from my husband, Rick. Seems like just when I think I'm okay and getting on with things, something comes up that shows me how much farther I have to go until I'm an official member of the "Got It Together" club.

My oldest step-son (Eric) graduated from high school on Monday. I can hardly believe that it's been 13 years since he first came in to my life and I was watching him start kindergarten. Now I have two sons of my own, one who just graduated kindergarten and one who will start in the fall.

Watching him graduate was wonderful. Watching him graduate with Rick, and Stacey (Eric's mom) was another thing all together. It was a very emotional day for me. A day of celebrating Eric's acheivements and the next chapter of his life, and a day of realization for me of all that I have been through with Rick, and the beginning of a new chapter in my life. An unwritten chapter that scares me. An unfamiliar place.

What has really been coming up for me during this week is the term "comfort zone." A good friend and fantastic blogger, Andrea Schroeder, of abccreativity.com wrote her blog this week about working through the discomfort of outgrowing a comfort zone. Another good friend I talked to on the phone today brought up comfort zones and how tough it can be for us to leave them, no matter how aware we are of how much they no longer serve us. And this is where I am. Stuck in a comfort zone that definitely is no longer serving me - but too scared to let...it...go. At this point I think "un-comfort" zone is much more accurate description of where I am.

And so I think right now, the best thing I can do is feel my way through this. Feel the fear, the sadness, the grieving. Because I know that at the other end is the relief, the joy, the courage, and the awareness....that I am right where I need to be, that all is happening for the highest and best of all concerned. Doesn't it always turn out that way? Right while you're in the middle of "it" you cannot possibly fathom how this can turn out well, and in the end you are so grateful that things turned out the way they did because they are soooooo much better? I know this as the truth in my life. I know that my next chapter will be better than ever.

And so it is!

Screwed....

Okay. Kids are gone, I've got a glass of wine and nothing to disturb me. Dare I try my hand at....blogging? This is something I've thought about many times and then rethought myself out of. Do I have to blog? What do I blog about? Who the heck wants to read another stranger's blog about her quest to live an inspired life? I have no formal education, no specialized training, no fabulous house in the hills with a butler or a ridiculous amount of shoes (okay that I may have, depending on what number constitutes ridiculous in your books). I do however, have a desire to do all I can with what I have, in the time I have, in the place I am. And so here I am.

I have been told that, "everyone's first blog post is bad." Now if you are me, that is a direct challenge to write the best first blog posting EVER. Am I doing that right now - probably not. I figure if it is a fact that all first posts are bad, then I was screwed before I even wrote "okay" up at the top. And if it's going to be bad, it might as well be really bad. So now I'm done. First worst blog post done. Nothing exciting, inspiring, or motivating. But now you can expect redemption, perfection, inspiration, and a whole lot of other words that end in "tion" from this day forward. Or at least you can look forward to my gradual improvement as you join me on my journey.

Over and out.

Trish